Thursday, September 25, 2008

impact on our kids- all of them

Sometimes I look at our kids and realize how little they really are. They really do deserve and need much of our time. I second guess our decision to adopt with our kids so young thinking, "How will I have enough for 3? or Will our kids suffer because of having a new baby so soon? Do we really have the resources for more children?" I think God is telling me "No, you don't have enough. You need me everyday and all the time. You are going to be pushed farther than ever and will need me more than ever. I am the God of Abraham, Issac, Jacob, Amber, Andrew, Emelia and Charlie. I know what is best for your children and all the children in the world. I am their maker and keeper." So when people ask how we are going to do it, I guess I DO know. We are going to do it because our God is so faithful and gracious. If my kids have to share their mommy and daddy a little more or not have the floor mopped every day (or every week), or wipe their own bums. The results are not up to me. I will give what I have (whether in abundance or lacking) and trust that God will meet the needs of my children as well. God's plan and story are so much bigger than me. Maybe Emelia and Charlie won't play 2 sports, girl scouts and music classes but they will know what it means to share, to be compassionate, and to love other first. They hopefully will look back on their childhood and be thankful that they participated in this plan (willingly or not). Please pray for their hearts as we all prepare to expand once again.
Dear little one,
I don't know you yet. I don't even know if you are formed. But I know a big God, a HUGE God and He has orchestrated this beautiful plan for your life. Just like baby Moses was born to Hebrew parents, you are born to Ethiopian parents. This will be a blessing to you and many. Also like baby moses, God will bring you to our home to be adopted. We will teach you about this God and pray that you also chose to follow Him. Because of your double heritage, I believe you will be better able to relate to people. your compassion will extend like the ocean. I cannot wait to see how God uses you. We are working hard to finish the necessary paperwork so that we can come a hold you. I pray for you all the time and ask God to help you hear my voice. As if I am in the womb with you. That you will know the voice of your physical mother and of my voice, your forever mother. Sweet baby, I wish I could be the vessel to carry you and protect you but I cannot. Like I said before, this is not about me.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Sweet relief! The hubby is home!

Andrew is home now. He was out of town all last week attending WineStyles training. It was a great but challenging week. We are all so happy to have him home.
Things are moving along in our adoption world. I was fingerprinted down at the police station for my FBI clearance on Friday. We have ordered all our birth certificates and marriage licences. I have started the 52 pages of questions to fill out for our homestudy. So much done and yet soooo much more to do. Tomorrow I have a phone conference with our case worker to discuss details of the homestudy and dossier. Hopefully this will help to simplify the process.
Today at work I took care of a patient from Ethiopia. It was wonderful to hear her perspective of the country and it's people. They gave me their email and phone numbers so that their family in Ethiopia can meet us when we fly there. Such wonderful kind people.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Big party in Heaven- September 12, 2008

This week has been so full of joy. A very dear friend of mine accepted Christ a few nights ago. It was one of those moments you dream of happening and when it finally does you can help but yell out loud, "Thank you Jesus!". I have been praying for this woman for 5 years now. We have shared everything together- our work, our babies, our lives. I actually was planning/hoping to be able to go to women's weekend at Malibu this past weekend, I was sure that she would finally accept Him there. How could she resist? Well, things didn't pan out and we were not able to go. The amazing thing is she became a Christian the same weekend anyways. Jesus gently reminded me that he does not fit MY plan but that I should follow His. How could I be so faithless to think she only could commit at a YL camp? God is so much bigger than any plans I have.
For all of you out there who have been investing in someone, hoping to see them come face to face with Jesus... Do not lose hope. His plans and timing are perfect.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Big Day

Today we sent our official notarized contracts and half the money for the adoption. Wow! This baby is really coming.

This year in BSF we are studying the life of Moses. During our first lecture last week our speaker asked us to think and pray about which characteristic of Moses we were going to focus on this year. I was tempted to say prayer because it is something I could always improve on and yet still stay fairly comfortable. I felt a strong nagging to pick faithfulness and obedience but that followed with my heart selfishly saying, "dang, I'm actually going to have to do something and be uncomfortable". This is comfort thing is something I have been realizing that I worship. So I left BSF that day and thought very little about it until today. During my lesson I was going over a question that said, "what have you done this week in response to the lecture." As I was reviewing the lecture, my heart sunk-nothing. Our adoption application had been placed on hold in our hands until our life insurance policy went through (long story with too many boring details). I then asked Andrew if he had heard anything about our life insurance and he told me the policies had been issued yesterday. I jumped up and grabbed our application and asked Andrew if he was okay if I took them to the post office. Just then the phone rang, it was Kiersten from All Gods Children checking in with us on the status of the papers. I believe God sent us that call in case we didn't get the message loud and clear already. Why today was the day...I don't really know. But I firmly believe that God was written the story already, he knows the child, whether created yet or not, that will be the next weiseth. Even though the road has really just begun I love how all the struggles will someday speak to our child that we loved him/her before they were created and are willing to go great distances for them.