Sunday, April 26, 2009

Trust AND Obey

Below is a hymn my daughter learned this year at BSF. It is one of her favorite hymns. It has also become one of mine lately as I have been pushed to trust and obey. It is funny because I would think the obeying part would be the most difficult. Contrarily, the obeying has been simple compared to the trusting. We have said "yes", signed contracts, paid money and worked hard to obey God's calling for us to adopt. I have found it much more difficult to trust HIM through he process. I still find myself worrying and worrying about our upcoming court date. It really does no good. God is sovereign. This simple hymn has been my prayer and encouragement. I hope it encourages other obedient followers who need to lay their worries aside.

Trust and Obey (Hymn by John Sammis 1887)

When we walk with the Lord in the light of His Word,
What a glory He sheds on our way!
While we do His good will, He abides with us still,
And with all who will trust and obey.


Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.

Not a shadow can rise, not a cloud in the skies,
But His smile quickly drives it away;
Not a doubt or a fear, not a sigh or a tear,
Can abide while we trust and obey.


Not a burden we bear, not a sorrow we share,
But our toil He doth richly repay;
Not a grief or a loss, not a frown or a cross,
But is blessed if we trust and obey.


But we never can prove the delights of His love
Until all on the altar we lay;
For the favor He shows, for the joy He bestows,
Are for them who will trust and obey.


Then in fellowship sweet we will sit at His feet.
Or we’ll walk by His side in the way.
What He says we will do, where He sends we will go;
Never fear, only trust and obey.


Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Big changes at our house

2 days ago my oldest, Emelia stated..."I want to sleep in Charlie's room." I thought she was just bring silly. Then she became quite insistent that she wanted to sleep with her brother. So in the middle of the afternoon Andrew and I moved Emelia's bed and possessions to her brothers room. I am still waiting for her to change her mind. 
She left her peaceful, beautiful princess pink room to be crammed in with her brother. Pink walls were exchanged for blue. Emelia used to spend at least 2 hours in her room during the day just playing alone (by her choice). She now has really no space to be alone except her closet (where I found her hiding today). What would possess this little girl to make such a crazy choice? Well for starters she is only 3. Not much logical thinking yet. Other than that she just states , "I won't be lonely at night." She longs so much for a night time companion that she will give up all personal space to have that. I wonder how many kids around the world would give up ANYTHING to have a brothers room to move into?  
I guess Levi will get his own room with pink walls until someone else moves in with him. 

Friday, April 17, 2009

A little reminder and Ethiopian Music

Adoption Fundraiser: Wine Tasting
Just a reminder: Our adoption fundraiser is tomorrow 4/18 from 11am-10pm. please come taste some Ethiopian wines, injera and Ethiopian spiced popcorn. We will also be tasting wines from South Africa. The tasting starts at 6pm but sales all day will benefit us. Hope to see many of you there. 

Where: WineStyles Canyon Park (for directions and map go to website)  

Ethiopian music

I bought this album off iTunes (also available on amazon)  and love it! Highly recommend to anyone who wants to listen to some ethiopian grooves.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Court Date!

Mark your calenders....May 21st is our court date. 5 weeks from today! Hopefully that day Levi will officially be ours forever. If we pass court we will travel 2-4 weeks later to pick him up. On to more waiting.... 

Monday, April 13, 2009

Levi Update!

We received an unexpected email today with an update of Levi. It said he a quiet boy that likes to sit in his bouncy seat and watch the other children. He has plumped up quite a bit since coming to Hannah's Hope. He also has a VERY bald spot on the back of his head. The update also included a few pictures that I cannot post here.

With all good news there comes an anxiety in my head. 
When I hear he likes to sit in his bouncy seat I think.....he is not getting held enough or enough attention.
When I hear about his bald spot I worry he is always on his back. 

Parenting from afar is crazy difficult. It is only parenting with prayer. When my kids had bald spots I did something. When they looked bored I entertained them. We mothers (and fathers) are always thinking and doing things for our children. Meting their needs even before they know it. 

I want so badly to  hold him so much that his cute hair can grow back. 

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Happy 3 Months Levi!

Our little boy is 3 months old today... maybe. (His B-day is approximate.) 
I wonder what he is learning. Maybe smiles, rolling over, sucking his thumb. I just stare at his big eyes and wonder...will I really get to bring him home? 
At every step along this adoption journey I have wanted to get to the next step. In my head I would tell myself, "it will  be easier, more enjoyable, etc". The truth is every step closer so far has gotten more difficult. It is so much more emotional on this side of the referral. We have that face to look at and it is sooooo wonderful. But with every glance and joy from seeing him is the heartbreak of not being with him right now. The heartbreak of knowing what he has lost, what his birth mom has lost, and the precious time we have lost. 
I am hopeful that we will hear about our court date this week or next. Maybe then it will get easier.... :).   

Monday, April 6, 2009

Feeling foggy

Do you ever feel like your brain is somewhere other than your body? Foggy? confused? distant? 
So you sleep, drink coffee, take a shower and it seems fixed.

What do you do when its your heart that is somewhere else? 

It's not that I don't love my family or life. I just feel divided. Life here and then my son in Ethiopia. It's hard to present 100% of the time when I am in my heart holding, singing, praying and loving on my boy.