Thursday, October 29, 2009

Becoming my Mother

Growing up I was always shocked and embarrassed by my mothers ability to cry about anything. Movies, books, stories, sitcoms, Oprah, etc. I just didn't get it.

Today I realized I was becoming my Mother. Emelia and I sat down for our afternoon reading session. The book for today was Meet Addy (American Girl series).

The story is about a 9 year old slave girl who escapes to freedom. I started reading the first chapter aloud to Emelia and made it only a few chapters before I was crying. It was pretty intense and probably a bit inappropriate for a 4 year old. She was however hooked and wanted more. (This is probably where I make the point that in the future I will try to read the books first). I ended up reading the 70 pages story to her over about an hour. She loved it and had many questions. I however struggled to read without sobbing. 2 parts in particular really hit me. First was where the father and brother were sold to another slave owner. Second was where the mother left her baby behind so she could escape with the 9 year old. These are issues I will never face. No one in my family has and probably never will. As I was reading I couldn't help but to picture Levi.

When I had learned about slavery in the past it was always distant from my life. I felt compassion and sadness but not real understanding. Today I experienced it differently. I pictured my son working on the plantation, being beaten by his slave owner and sold as property. I realized for the first time that all the men and women who risked their lives for freedom from slavery...that they did it not only for themselves but they also did it for Levi. He is able, because of those who fought slavery, to come to America and live a life of endless opportunity.

I have a african son. over 100 years ago if he came to America it would have been on a slave ship. Now he comes as my beloved son, a equal portion of my heart, a equal heir.

See, I have become my Mother. Crying and blogging about an American Girl story book.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Sunday, October 18, 2009


143 million orphans worldwide..................

James 1:27
" Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world"

Couldn't be more clear.

So what do we do with this information? Is this just for the rich guy over there with lots of time, space and energy? Is this only for the perfect families? Is this only for families with infertility?

So if there are 2.1 billion Christians worldwide why do we still have 143 million orphans?

What is God calling you to do?

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Big Eyes! Big personality! Big plans!

Usually I post pictures that are all cute and happy. This is somewhat misleading. This weekend I am going to post some pictures of the "real" Levi. He is a 9 month with a plan. Usually I have no idea what this is. For example today he screamed at me for 20 mins because he didn't want to sit or be held. He wanted me to hold his hands to stand. Well I had to make dinner so he had to pick a reasonable option. This was not part of his plan. He screamed so hard and long that my other kids went and hid in the back bedrooms to get away from him.

I haven't really been talking to many people about how tough of a baby he is. I feel like they will think it is because of attachment issues or that they will judge my adoptive parenting abilities. I wonder these same things I guess. But I am reminded all the time of my first born. She was exactly the same way. Every night until she was about 2 we had to hold her down screaming and kicking to put her pajamas on. She hated to sleep and was grumpy A LOT! Now she is a wonderful, sweet calm child. I have my hopes for Levi as well. But for now it is TOUGH!

My middle child was kind of like a cabbage patch doll until he was 18 months. I would put him down on the floor and do "things". He would just sit there until I came to get him. Very calm, very self entertained, easy and loves to sleep. I guess the moral of my story is that children have very different personalities. I shouldn't take it personally that Levi is a discontent little guy.

Look out! the real Levi in picture is coming!

Friday, October 9, 2009

cuddle bugs

3 in a bed

Emelia stealing a kiss

Charlie cuddling "Naomi"

Monday, October 5, 2009

My daughter the song writer

Emelia sung this song tonight to Levi while we fed him his good-night bottle.

You are my brother
my big little brother
Charlie is my other big little brother
I am your only sister
until we find your other big sister Naomi
We don't know where she is
But we will find her because we love her

I love you so very much
My heart is so full of love for you
I love everything about you

I wasn't there the day you were born
I didn't know you until the day I saw your picture
Your birthmom sent it to our computer
That was so very nice of her
Then I felt love for you
When you came home I was so happy
you are my favorite baby boy

The song went on for about 10 mins. I only wrote down the lines I could remember. It was awesome to see her pour her love out on Levi. While she was singing to him she was kissing and hugging him. I was just quietly thanking God for this moment. I will ALWAYS remember it.

Friday, October 2, 2009

We like 'em big

Levi has been home for 3 months and has gone through 4 sizes!
He started in 3-6 month and is currently wearing 18 month clothes. How did this happen? One might think all I do is feed him. (He only takes 3 bottles a day) I really expected my Ethiopia baby to be malnourished and skinny. Boy, was I wrong. He is my biggest yet.