Clarity

Neither go back in fear and misgivings to the past, nor in anxiety and forecasting to the future; but lie quiet under His hand, having no will but his.

-H.E. Manning

I have been meditating on this sentence the past few weeks. When my mind starts to buzz with questions, doubts and anxieties I am reminded of this. Lying under his hand, desiring nothing but God's will for me.

Today I had an awesome quiet time, full of desire for God's will. This time produced a peace that I haven't felt in days. I have been studying the book of John this year with BSF and have noticed a strong theme the past few weeks. Jesus states several times that if we ABIDE in Him, we Should ask and Should expect to receive. John also repeats this in 1 john.

John 14:14 "If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it."

John 15:7 "If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you."

John 16: 24 "Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full."

1 John 5:15 "And we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked him:"

For some odd reason, I don't ask. I ask for the little things. I teach my kids to ask. But something in my is afraid to ask for the big things. Afraid that if it doesn't go as I imagine I will be let down. I don't want to feel disappointed by God.

So today I prayed aloud a simple yet freeing prayer:

"Father, I ask that you give us a daughter.

I trust in your timing.

I trust in your provision.

I trust that you will guide Andrew and I to her."

There I asked.

God spoke to Andrew and I about a year ago that we would have another daughter. We have struggled with doubt in ourselves and in God's plan. We feel the pressure from doubts around us-From our coworkers to family members to church friends. We have heard your doubts and concerns. But today I chose not to listen and to remember that voice that so clearly has spoken to me about that orphan child. I Chose to ask for that promised gift.

now we will see. When and where and how is left to be discovered.