Passed another hurtle

We were officially approved to work with Beacon House on thursday. It was bitter sweet news. The way adoptions work in Ghana is that the Social Welfare for Ghana decides whether a family can adopt from Ghana or not. They also give out referrals. In Ethiopia the individual agencies (like AGCI, Gladney, etc) were responsible for referrals.

The news of our acceptance into the Beacon House program also had a statement regarding thepossibility of Social Welfare (within the Ghanaian government) denying us based on our family makeup. Especially the fact that our children are all young and that we have requested a young child (0-4yr). So given this info we have a few choices. We can move forward, completing our dossier, sending it to Ghana and then wait to hear whether Social Welfare will approve us or not. Or, we may be able to wait on completing our dossier and just send our homestudy to see if they will make a decision based on that. That is currently the avenue we are trying to take but the timing may not work out.

When I read this info my heart sunk. There is such a big part of me that wants this to be "easy". As if easy means God is behind it. Maybe it is just pride....that if Ghana denies us then we made the wrong choice, wrong country, wrong program, etc. Then I was reminded of a few things. A blog I love posted this recently which speaks to suffering within orphan care and adoption. That suffering is not equated with being out of God's will.

www.onethankfulmom.com (She links to a John Piper Sermon- What does it mean to live by faith in service to the Fatherless.)

I was also reminded that every adoption is difficult. Domestic, foster, international. All have the good, bad and ugly sided. Sometimes I feel that it is a full on spiritual World War 3. Then I have to remind myself that our journey to our daughter is about God placing an orphan within our family. It isn't about getting what we want, when we want, how we want. Everything about my flesh wants it the WAY I WANT IT!! I fight this everyday. Tonight as I sit in eager anticipation/hopelessness all in one, I repeat over and over "Not my will but yours. Not my will but yours. Not my will but yours.